What Brothers Do
by A Pirate By Any Other Name
Summary: When Thor's hammer is stolen by the frost giants, Loki volunteers to help get it back. But if he had known wearing a dress would be involved, perhaps he would have reconsidered. AU, set before the movie happens, heavily borrowed from Norse mythology.
1. Part 1

**DISCLAIMER:** Thor belongs to Marvel and Disney. This story is written purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from this fiction.

**Author's Note:**So I was reading up on my Norse mythology, and I stumbled on this little gem of a story. All it took was for me to read the words "Thor must be dressed as a bride" and "Loki was dressed as a bridesmaid" for me to scurry off to my laptop and start typing. Because let's face it. Who wouldn't want to see Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston in a dress? Enjoy.

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**The Theft of Thor's Hammer**

Thor was in a rage.

After many years with his brother, Loki was used to Thor's fits of fury, which were often deadly on the field of battle. But this time was different. Thor had already destroyed three banquet tables, smashed sixteen goblets, drank two casks of mulled wine, and threw all the chairs in the counsel meeting room through a window. Something had to be done.

The reason for Thor's all-consuming rage was his hammer. It was missing. Normally, Loki would have found this to be a fine joke, one he might even consider pulling himself, but under the circumstances, any further mischief could result in the desolation of an entire wing of the palace. He winced as he heard another bellow of rage come from Thor and the resounding crash of yet another piece of furniture being destroyed. Obviously Sif and the Warriors Three were not having much success in calming him down.

Loki sighed. Ever since Thor had earned the right to wield the great hammer Mjollnir, he seldom went anywhere without it. Loki highly suspected he slept with it on his pillow. However, on a more serious note, the hammer was practically the only weapon that was effective against the giants that were constantly threatening the gods' safety on Asgard. If they got wind that Mjollnir was missing, it would only be a matter of time before their armies were marching on Asgard's borders.

Seeing as Thor was in no fit state to handle this rationally, it was up to Loki to locate the hammer. He grinned. Many on Asgard looked on his skills as mere trickery or a slight of hand, but his powers were much more than that. However, at times even he needed a few tools to enhance his power. With this in mind, Loki hurried to the chambers of Freya, the beautiful goddess of love and fertility. Using his famed silvertongue, he easily gained the use of her suit of falcon feathers and transformed into a great bird.

Satisfied that he could hold the transformation, Loki flew to Jotunheim, the home of the frost giants and into the great hall of their king, Thrym. King Thrym was a huge, particularly ugly frost giant, but Loki was not fooled by his appearance. He knew Thrym was king for a reason, and that one wrong move could mean trouble for him and for Asgard.

He was escorted to the throne room by two hulking frost giants, both of whom threw Loki threatening glances at every step. When they reached the foot of Thrym's dasis, the giant on Loki's left spoke in a gravelly voice, "It is Loki Odinson of Asgard, the Trickster, here to see you my lord." Both giants bowed low. Loki inclined his head.

"Greetings, your Majesty." A smiled played about his lips, but Loki quickly hid it lest Thrym think he was mocking him. Which of course he was, but he certainly didn't want Thrym to know that.

Thrym looked down lazily at Loki. He seemed to be in a good mood, which Loki took as a positive sign. Chances were good that he knew where Thor's hammer was, or at least knew something about it. Loki stared. Thrym was not idle as he sat on the throne. In his large blue hands he was busy plaiting gold thread into what looked like a rope.

Thrym caught Loki's curious stare and chuckled. "They are leashes for my monstrous hounds, little prince. Perhaps you would like to meet them?" His rough chuckle turned in to a bellowing laugh. The guards that had escorted Loki joined in, adding to the cacophony of grating laughter.

Loki allowed himself a smile. "Perhaps another time," he said smoothly. "I come for another purpose today."

Thrym quirked a black eyebrow and fixed his blood red gaze on Loki. "Oh? And what purpose is this, Odinson?" He sneered and stressed Odin's name terribly. The other giants in the room let out a hiss.

Loki gritted his teeth at the assault on his father's name and continued. He decided to be outright. "Why, I come to see if it was you who stole Thor's hammer, of course."

Thyrm let out a bone chilling laugh and Loki shivered in spite of himself. Thrym saw the movement and grinned wider. "Aye, it was I, Loki Odinson, Prince of Lies. I, Thrym, who stole the mighty Thor's hammer. And I have hidden it eight miles beneath the earth where none may ever find it." His voice was heavily laced with triumph and he made no attempt to hide his condescending smirk.

Loki forced himself to smile in return, but inside his anger was boiling at the king's insults to Thor and his father. "And what," he said calmly, " will you demand as ransom for this mighty prize?"

If possible, Thrym's smirk grew even more infuriating. "I shall return the hammer to you only if you send me the lovely Freya to be my willing bride."

Even with all his practice at keeping a smooth face, Loki struggled to hide his shock at Thrym's answer. There was no way they could give into this demand. Loki tried to salvage the situation. "I cannot speak on the goddess's behalf, your Majesty. Is there not anything else you might consider, perhaps something more in Thor or my own power to grant you?"

Thrym's red eyes narrowed. On either side of him, the guards tightened their grip on their weapons. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. "I will have Freya as my bride and nothing else," he hissed, jumping to his feet. Loki forced himself not to react. "Or Mjollnir shall rot in the bowels of the earth and my armies shall overrun Asgard. Think on that, little prince, and take my message back to Asgard. Go, tell your brother of the _good_ news."

Loki bowed low. "I shall, your Majesty. Thank you for your...generous offer."

Thrym laughed his chilling laugh once more and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Loki wasted no time in hanging about. He hurried out of the throne room and practically fled from the city. Outside the city he once again donned Freya's falcon feather suit and transformed.

His flight back to Asgard was even more swift than the trip into Jotunheim. As he flew pondered their dire situation. Freya would never agree to these terms, and Loki could not imagine handing the beautiful goddess over to that monster. He set his mouth in a grim line. This would take more than just smooth words. A plan would have to be devised. He landed on the palace balcony with a dull thud and quickly shed the falcon feather suit. At once the angry shouts of Thor reached his ears. Loki sighed.

First he would have to tell Thor the news. He couldn't imagine any scenario where that would go over well. Thor would likely want to storm Jotunheim and take the hammer back by force, a plan Loki knew would never work. He shook his head and glanced up at the heavens.

"The things I do for my brother," he muttered.

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**Author's Note 2:** Gods in dresses are coming up soon. Stay tuned and tell me what you think!


	2. Part 2

**DISCLAIMER:** Thor belongs to Marvel and Disney. This story is written purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from this fiction.

**Author Note:** There is one review I want to address, because I think it makes some excellent points. Thank you to guest **jaquelinelittle**, for bringing this to my attention. In the Marvel universe, Thor's hammer, Mjollnir can only be lifted by Thor or someone deemed worthy by Odin. How then, did the giants steal it? Well, for the sake of this story, I will go with mythology version of Thor's hammer. Others may lift the hammer, but only Thor can summon and use its power. Since it was one of the only defenses against the giants, they stole it so that they would be defenseless and would be forced to accept the frost giants' terms to avoid bloodshed. As for the rest of your review, those questions shall be addressed in this chapter, by Loki himself. Also, in a further note, I know Sif in the movie has dark hair, but in the myth she has golden hair (like Thor's). I will be using this version. I hope you'll enjoy. Thanks for everyone's support so far!

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**Trust the Trickster**

"Calm yourself, Thor!" Sif's furious voice rang out into the hall. Loki snorted in amusement as Thor shouted something furiously back. Obviously Sif and the Warriors Three had failed to talk some sense into his raging brother. He shook his head. He had to do everything.

"Are you _still_ raging, brother?" asked Loki calmly as he strode into the room, expertly ducking as a goblet came flying at his head.

"Loki!" said Sif angrily turning towards him. "Take your tricksome tongue elsewhere. The last thing Thor needs is your mocking laughter!"

Loki's eyes danced with brief merriment. He loved teasing Sif. She was such an easy target. "Lady Sif," he said with a mock bow. "Charming as ever, I see. But wrong, as usual." Loki's grin widened as she clenched her fists and took a step towards him. "I come not to laugh at my brother, which would be foolish, given his angry state, but to speak with him." He paused and looked over to Thor. "I have news of Mjollnir."

Thor ceased his angry bellowing at once. He practically ran to Loki's side and clapped a huge hand on Loki's shoulder. "You have news, brother? Come, tell me at once!"

Loki nodded, casting a smug glance at Sif before continuing. "Of course brother." He slid out of Thors's grasp and began walking around the room, surveying the damage Thor had inflicted in his rage as he did so. It was quite extensive. "I have journeyed to Jotunheim, brother, and spoken with the frost giants' acting king, Thrym. It was he who stole your hammer, Thor, and he has hidden it far in the depths of the earth where none may find it."

Thor's reaction was instantaneous and completely predictable. His eyes narrowed in anger and he made a move for the door. "Then there is not a second to waste! Come, my friends and brother, we shall go to Jotunheim and retrieve Mjollnir, even if we must beat it out of the beast Thrym with our bare hands!"

Suddenly everyone was speaking at once. Loki watched with a slightly bored expression.

"Now wait just a moment, Thor, we can't—" Fandral started.

"This is madness," said Hogun with a grim expression.

"How could we possibly—" said Volstagg, pausing to take a bite of the leg of turkey he had in one hand, "We can't—"

"STOP!" shouted Sif, who had moved to block the door.

Thor walked up to her. "Lady Sif, we can't delay. Every second we wait the frost giants could be gathering their armies to march on Asgard!"

Sif held her position at the door. "Exactly, Thor. But if it was the frost giants who stole Mjollnir, why have they not already sent their army marching against our gates? Why are they not inside our cities at this very moment, slaying our people?"

Thor looked shocked. "I had not thought of that," he said, furrowing his brow in thought. Loki was impressed. Perhaps there was hope for Lady Sif yet. Thor looked questioningly up at Sif. "_If_ it was the frost giants, you say. Have you reason to believe someone else is responsible?"

Sif's eyes hardened and she shot a glance at Loki. "I do," she said firmly. Loki sighed and prepared for some ill-formed accusations. The rest of the Warriors Three glanced curiously between Sif and Loki. Satisfied that Thor was not going to charge out of the palace, Sif left her position at the door to approach Loki. "You journeyed to Jotunheim, alone and unaided. Not even the fiercest of our warriors would attempt such a feat. How is it that _you_ managed it?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "None of our warriors would attempt such a feat because they are fools who go looking for battle. Anyone may journey between the realms if they are not searching for blood. I merely went as an ambassador seeking answers. And I was given them."

Sif narrowed her eyes, possibly insulted by the "foolish warriors" comment. "And how did you even know to search in Jotunheim? What previous knowledge did you have of this theft?"

Loki rolled his eyes again. "My dear Lady Sif, please use your brain. Who else would have reason or even dare to steal Mjollnir? The dwarves? They _made_ the hammer for Thor and have often been our allies. What cause would they have to steal it? The elves? They spend their days gazing at the stars. The Fae squabble amongst themselves and Midgard is barely aware of our presence, if indeed they know anything of us at all. So tell me, who else could have stolen the hammer? The frost giants were the obvious culprits, a fact that I was quickly certain of after my arrival in Jotunheim."

"And what of those on Asgard?" demanded Sif, her fiery gaze still trained on Loki.

"Sif!" burst out Fandral. "Surely you don't mean to imply someone on _Asgard_ would steal Mjollnir!"

Thor straightened his stance and puffed out his chest. "Indeed, Lady Sif. There are none on Asgard who would threaten our safety in such away, nor betray us by handing it over to the frost giants." Loki waited patiently for her to get straight to the point with her accusation. He did not have to wait long.

"Are you certain of that?" said Sif defiantly. "And what of Loki? This is just the kind of thing he would do. He just _loves_ to cause a little chaos, the safety of others be damned." She threw him a nasty glare.

"Here now!" said Thor warningly, but Loki waved him off. He did not need Thor to defend him in this.

To Sif's fury, Loki laughed. "Indeed, Lady Sif, I do like to have a little fun. But threatening the safety of all the people of Asgard is not in my repertoire. And as for anyone else on Asgard; the people adore Thor. There is none who would betray him like this. So I will tell you again: the frost giant Thrym is responsible."

"And just how did you find this out?" she asked, her voice still laced with suspicion. "Did you just waltz into the throne room and ask?"

"Well, yes," Loki said simply. He enjoyed the sudden look of shock that crossed Sif and Fandral's faces. Hogun looked as he always did, which was grim, Volstagg chewed on his turkey leg, and Thor merely waited for the rest of the explanation.

"But what if you had been wrong?" demanded Sif. "You would have given away our weakness to our greatest enemy! What of your famed silvertongue? Why not trick the answer out of him?"

Loki smiled. "But I was not. I knew from the moment I arrived in Jotunheim I had been correct in my hypothesis. Thrym was in a jovial mood, and he was expecting me—or at the very least, someone from Asgard. I decided a direct approach would be best."

Sif started to protest again, but Hogun interrupted. "What do you mean; he was expecting someone from Asgard? If he had stolen our greatest weapon, why wait for us to come to him? Why not attack us when he knows we are vulnerable?"

"A good question, my grim friend," said Loki. Sif sneered at his tone. Loki smirked back, but quickly became serious as he addressed his answer to Thor. "Because Thrym is not looking for battle. He is looking for a bargain."

Thor's brow furrowed. "A bargain? What does the beast want?"

"Well, he—" Loki started, but was cut off by Sif.

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you seriously considering everything he's saying? Him, the God of _Lies_? How can you trust him?" she shouted, looking at Thor, Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg in turn, outrage shining in her eyes.

"Loki may be a trickster at times, Lady Sif, but he is my brother and I trust him with my life," said Thor seriously.

"Yes, I know _exactly_ the kind of trickster he can be," Sif said bitterly.

Loki sighed in frustration. "It was only hair, Sif, and I did replace it," he said. It was true. Loki had once cut Sif's long golden hair as a joke, but Sif was beyond furious. As punishment, Loki was forced to replace it with strands of gold spun by the dwarves. Now _that_ was an interesting trip to Svartalfheim. A faint smile played about his lips. "I merely thought since you had proclaimed your admiration for my brother's hair, you would like yours to match it. It was a favor to you, _dear_ Lady."

Fandral burst into laughter. "You have admired his hair often enough, Sif," he said cheerfully.

Sif glared at him. "I have not!" she said furiously. "And this is beside the point."

"And just what is your point, Sif?" asked Loki with amusement.

"That you are not to be trusted!" she burst out. "How do we know that it wasn't _you_ who stole Thor's hammer and gave it to the giants? I think you would think that a _fine_ joke!"

"Enough of this," Thor said, breaking in between them. "Lady Sif, do you trust me?"

Sif looked surprised. "Of course, Thor, I trust you with my life."

Thor nodded. "Good. Because I trust Loki with mine. If you doubt him, you doubt me. So let us have no more words about this and listen to what he has to tell us." Sif looked sour, but nodded stiffly. He turned towards Loki. "Continue, brother. What is it the giant demands of us?"

Loki gave his brother a grim smile. "A bride," he said. "Freya, to be exact. He wants Freya to be his bride. We must send her to him or he will send his armies to march on Asgard."

"What?" everyone in the room shouted at once.

"Impossible," said Thor at once. "We cannot give the fair goddess to that monster."

"I agree, brother," said Loki. "But we must tell the All-Father of this development and Freya. There will likely be a meeting to discuss what must be done."

"But what can be done?" exclaimed Fandral. "The giants will only accept Freya. You tried to negotiate other terms, did you not?" he asked Loki.

"I did," answered Loki. "I am sorry to say that Thrym is adamant in his terms. There will be no swaying him."

"We must go to the All-Father at once," said Sif. The others agreed.

"Let us go," said Thor. He led them straight to the throne room and wasted no time getting to his father's feet. After quickly dropping to one knee he stood. "Father, I must request an audience with you. Loki brings urgent news of Mjollnir."

Odin got to his feet and cleared the room with a wave of his hand. "What news, my son?"

Thor nodded respectfully to Odin. "Father, I think the lady Freya should be present for this conference. The matter which I have to relate to you concerns her as well."

Odin nodded, looking grim. "Very well." He summoned a servant to fetch her, and also called his wife Frigga to join them.

Freya arrived very shortly after, looking confused. "You summoned me, All-Father?"

"Yes," said Odin. "My sons have news of the missing Mjollnir, and they say it concerns you. Please listen."

"Yes, my king," said Freya with a deep curtsey. Odin nodded and gestured for Thor to continue.

"Father, Loki has just returned from a journey to Jotunheim, where he spoke with the giant Thrym. It was he who stole Mjollnir and now holds it ransom for that which we cannot give."

Odin furrowed his brow. "What does he demand?"

Thor glanced at Freya. "He demands that we send him Lady Freya to be his bride."

"No!" cried Frigga. Freya herself gasped. Odin shook her head.

"We cannot give into these demands." He looked at Loki, who had been silently watching the proceedings. "Loki? My son, is this true?"

Loki inclined his head. "It is true, Father. All other attempts to negotiate were ill met. Thrym will accept nothing but Freya as his bride."

"Very well." Odin looked even graver than before. "I must consider our options."

"But Father, what options are there? We cannot give Lady Freya to that monster, so we must march on Jotunheim and take the hammer back by force!" Thor exclaimed. Loki shook his head at his brother's thirst for battle and remained silent while Thor, Odin, and the others argued about the best course of action. As he stood there, it seemed to him that there was only one option guaranteed to work with the most success. But he decided to wait until Thor somehow managed to insult Sif by claiming women were the weaker sex before intervening.

"If I may speak," he said loudly. Odin held up a hand to silence everyone. "Thank you, father. It seems to me that there is only one course of action that will be met with the most success."

"Well? What is it, brother?" Thor asked eagerly.

Loki grinned. "I say it will work, brother. But you're not going to like it."

Thor started to protest, but Odin stopped him. "Go on, Loki. Tell us your plan."

Loki stood all and walked to the front of the room. "Thrym has demanded a bride and nothing else. So that is what we must give him. Only we will send _Thor_ disguised as Freya in her wedding gown."

Fandral and Volstagg immediately burst in to raucous laughter. Even Sif cracked a smile. "The mighty Thor!" Volstagg burst out. "Decked out in lace! Oh, that is just too much!" He laughed so hard that tears came out his eyes.

"Oh, oh! Will he have a bouquet of wildflowers too?" laughed Fandral. Sif giggled. Hogun did not laugh, but his eyes crinkled with mirth.

Thor looked outraged. "What mockery is this, brother? Would you have me be the laughingstock of Asgard?"

Loki grinned. "Of course not, Thor. But this is the best way. You shall arrive in Jotunheim disguised as Freya. A thick veil will hide your face and beard, and when Thrym places Mjollnir on your lap for the wedding ceremony—"

"I shall grab my weapon and smite the giants where they stand! It is a strange plan, brother, but with satisfying results. Could I not just accompany Freya herself to Jotunheim?" Thor asked hopefully.

Loki shook his head. "Thrym will not allow any warriors into Jotunheim, I am sure of it. This is the only way. But fret not, dear brother. I will accompany you as your bridesmaid."

This pronouncement was met with more laughter from Fandral and Volstagg, and this time Sif joined in. "Oh what a lovely pair you two will make!" said Fandral.

Loki ignored them. Instead he turned to Odin. "Father? What say you of this plan?"

Odin was silent for a while, his eye looking over each of them in turn. At last he turned to Freya. "I think it is a good plan. And what say you, Lady Freya, to Thor going in your place?"

"I think would be very brave of him," she said with a twinkle in her eye. "And may I ask for the honor of dressing our princes for the wedding?"

There was more laughter from the Warriors Three and Odin smiled. "Of course, Lady Freya. I leave them in your capable hands. Go my sons, with my blessing, and bring Mjollnir back to us."

Loki grinned. "Thank you, Father." Thor looked less enthusiastic and he kept glaring at the Warriors Three, but he too said his thanks to the All-Father. Then both of them said their goodbyes to the Warriors Three and Lady Sif and followed Freya out of the throne room.

As they were leaving, Frigga hurried over to join them. "Lady Freya," she said, her eyes shining as she looked at her sons. "Might I join you?"

Freya smiled conspiratorially. "Of course, my queen. Let us make your sons beautiful." Together the women laughed and started discussing designs and patterns, while Thor walked sullenly behind them, mumbling under his breath.

Loki could hardly contain his glee. The situation was well in control now; there was no need to worry. Though he would have to suffer wearing a dress, it would be entirely worth it to see Thor in a wedding gown. He smiled with all his teeth. This was going to be so much fun.


	3. Part 3

**DISCLAIMER:** Thor belongs to Marvel and Disney. This story is written purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from this fiction.

**Author Note:**Thanks so much for all the support on this story! I'm really glad you've all enjoyed it so far. Again, I'd like to stress the fact that I am basing this story off the Norse myth and therefore I am ignoring the Marvel fact that only Thor can pick up the hammer and also summon it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear before. Thanks again to all who have given me detailed reviews. They're very helpful! And now without further ado, here is the (hopefully) entertaining conclusion to this story!

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**Gods in Dresses**

"Ouch!" yelped Thor, complaining loudly as Freya stuck him with yet another pin. Loki didn't bother hiding his grin.

"If you would stop fidgeting Thor, I wouldn't keep sticking you with pins!" scolded Freya. Thor grumbled under his breath.

"This is the most humiliating thing I have ever done," he growled, a fierce scowl on his face. Loki chuckled. Thor glared at him. "I see no humor in this situation, brother." He was rewarded with a full-out laugh from Loki, which quickly turned into a yelp as Frigga stuck him with a pin.

"Stop antagonizing your brother, Loki," she warned, and added another pin to the skirt of Loki's dress. "I'm almost finished, dear." Loki held still for a moment longer, barely containing another laugh when Thor was stuck with yet another pin.

"Honestly Thor, one would think you hadn't ever fought in a great battle or fended off a group of giants single-handedly if they could see you now, crying in pain from a simple—ow!" Loki looked down in shock at his mother, who had just stuck another pin in his leg.

She gave him a stern look. "I told you to stop antagonizing your brother."

Loki sighed petulantly. "Yes Mother. I won't do it again." He put on an angelic face. Frigga scoffed and smacked him lightly with her fan.

"The God of Lies indeed! Listen to the tales that come out of your mouth! You should be ashamed, lying to your own mother like that."

Loki smiled and put his hands on his hips, which looked ridiculous while he was wearing a dress—even a half-stitched one. "I don't know what you're talking about, Mother." He gave her a wink.

She scoffed. "You're incorrigible."

"I try," Loki said lazily.

"I do not see how you can be so merry, brother," Thor growled.

"Easily," Loki answered. "We have a good plan and I have absolute faith in your ability to carry it out." Thor grunted in response, but he seemed to be temporarily placated.

"There!" announced Freya. "Thor, hold still while I take this off of you. I'll have this stitched up within the hour." Loki watched with amusement as Thor awkwardly contorted his body so Freya could remove the dress without tearing out any of her pins. When it came time for his dress to be removed, he simply changed his shape and willed his body out of it using his magic.

"Show off," grunted Thor. Loki only grinned in response.

Frigga clucked her tongue. "Away with you! I will call you when Freya and I finish the dresses. It would be best if you two prepare to depart."

Thor and Loki bowed their heads. "Yes Mother," they chorused. Thor left quickly after, perhaps fleeing from the sight of any more lace and made for his room to don some of his lighter pieces of armor. It couldn't be very bulky or the dress wouldn't fit right and Thrym would be suspicious, but Thor wouldn't dare enter Jotunheim without some form of protection. Loki would be doing the same.

After some time Thor reappeared and found Loki standing on the balcony outside of the sewing room. The laughing voices of their mother and Freya could be heard inside, and Thor eyed the door warily. Loki sensed his brother's unease and stepped closer to him.

"What troubles you, brother?"

Thor looked at Loki and glanced around to see if anyone was listening. Loki's eyebrows shot up in surprise. After confirming there were no listening ears save for theirs, Thor leaned in towards Loki conspiratorially. "I know you are skilled in the art of concealment, Loki," Thor began.

Loki immediately grinned, knowing exactly what Thor was going to ask. "Yes," he said slowly.

Thor paused and looked sheepish. "I would consider it a great favor to me, brother, if you would conceal us until we arrived at the Bifrost. I have no wish to march across Asgard in women's skirts."

A wide smile spread across Loki's face. "Are you sure, brother?" he teased. Thor glared at him. Loki paused for a moment, considering. He knew he would likely not have such an opportune moment to tease Thor like this for a long time, if ever again. He didn't want to miss it. He also knew that Thor's friends would be wanting to see him off. His grin grew even wider. They would surely be waiting at the Bifrost. Loki laughed. "Of course, Thor. I will conceal us, until we reach the Bifrost."

Thor clapped a large hand on Loki's back and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, brother," said Thor with obvious relief. At that moment the doors to the sewing room flew open and their mother strode out.

"Your gowns are ready for you, boys," she said, a smile in her voice. Thor's shoulders slumped and he headed off with a grunt, but Loki walked calmly inside, the corners of his mouth turning up slowly. He cared not if he had to wear a dress. It would not bring him anymore ridicule than he already received, and besides, he had even spent time as a woman. He gritted his teeth at the memory.

It had been a complicated bit of magic. Loki had turned himself into a mare to tempt the mighty stallion Svadilfari and bore a son, Sleipnir, an eight-legged horse which he gifted to Odin as a Father's Day present. Sleipnir was an immensely powerful horse, able to gallop over the sea, air and land, outrun any horse in the Nine Realms, and could even travel to the land of the dead. Odin was very pleased with Loki's gift and had told him so, but that hadn't stopped him from gushing with pleasure when Thor presented him with a new set of armor specially crafted by the dwarves and a feast held in his honor.

Loki snorted. That sort of favoritism was exactly why Loki would relish a chance to humiliate his brother. He knew of course, that Thor would likely redeem himself quickly through some act of valor, but he contented himself with Thor's current misery. His brother was now huffing loudly as Freya and their mother helped in into his dress, a long, layered white gown with a fifteen foot train and big puffy sleeves to hide Thor's bulging muscles.

When the ladies finished buttoning the back of Thor's dress, they stepped back to admire their handy work. Thor stood with his shoulders slumped and a look of extreme displeasure on his face. Frigga frowned at her sullen son. "Come now, Thor, stand up straight. A lady does _not_ slump."

Loki barely contained his mirth. He had waved away the maids that had come to help him into his own gown and slipped into it using magic. His gown was pale green and high necked, and since since he was so slender, he appeared to look much more ladylike than Thor. Still, he used his magic to lengthen his long black hair and stuffed the bust of the dress to "enhance his girlish figure." He glanced over at Thor.

"His figure is wrong," Loki pointed out, interrupting the ladies' inspection of Thor. "He has no bust."

Thor growled at Loki, but Freya exclaimed, "You're right!" and hastily began stuffing small pillows down Thor's front. Loki chuckled. Thor now looked like an ungainly, top-heavy maiden—with a beard.

"It would have been better if you would have shaved your beard, dear," their mother said a little sadly.

"There is no time," Loki interjected. As much fun as it would see to a clean-cut Thor, they needed to reach Jotunheim by nightfall. "He will just have to wear a thick veil to hide his beard."

"You are right, my son," Frigga agreed. Quickly she fetched a lacy veil to cover her son's shaggy head.

"Better," said Loki, circling his brother. "But there's something missing." He snapped his fingers and Thor's thick boots gains a two inch heel that clicked when he walked. "Perfect," said Loki, grinning. A snap of the fingers and he had boots to match. He linked an arm through Thor's and threw him a cheeky grin. "Now aren't we just a lovely bridal couple?"

"Let's just get this over with," Thor grumbled. "I long to feel the weight of Mjollnir in my hands again."

"Soon enough, brother," said Loki lightly. He mock-curtsied to his mother and Freya. "Thank you ladies, for your services. If you will excuse us, Thor and I have a wedding to attend to."

"Wait!" cried Freya. She hurried forward and unclasped her special golden necklace, the Brisingamen, and put it around Thor's neck. "This will guarantee your acceptance as me," she said. Thor nodded solemnly, knowing the importance of the rare treasure now hanging around his neck.

"I will return it as you give it to me now, Lady Freya, and guard it closely."

Freya smiled. "Thank you."

"And now we _must_ go," Loki urged. As much fun as he was having at Thor's expense, he knew time was of the essence and that this was an important matter. "Stay close to me, brother," he ordered. Thor complied, and Loki shut his eyes in concentration. Within seconds, they were nothing but shadows.

"So this is how you sneak up on me!" Thor exclaimed in awe. Loki frowned.

"Yes, and _silently. _It does you no good to be invisible if everyone around you can hear your racket," Loki scolded. Thor immediately fell silent. Loki found he liked his obedient Thor and hoped he could get him to behave this way more often. Perhaps he would invite Thor the next time he harassed Sif.

They passed through the city quickly and were soon within the sights of the Bifrost. Even from a distance, Loki would make out the impressive figure of Heimdall in his golden armor standing guard at the Bifrost entrance. As they got closer, Loki suddenly heard a groan from Thor. He smiled. Standing to the left of Heimdall were the Warriors Three, all of them grinning like fools. Even Hogan the Grim had a small smile on his usually stern lips.

"Do not lift our concealment, brother," Thor urged.

"I only promised I would conceal us until we reached the Bifrost, dear brother. Besides, we must be visible for Heimdall to let us pass," Loki said, amusement clear in his voice.

Thor put his veiled head in his hands. "So be it," he grumbled. With that Loki released the enchantments shielding them from view.

"Ah, at last the beauteous bride and his lovely maid approaches!" shouted Fandral with delight. Beside him, Volstagg roared with laughter.

"I believe it is a good look for you, Thor," said Hogan.

"Can't we see the blushing bride's face?" teased Fandral, his own cheeks bright red from laughter.

"Believe me, Fandral, you would not want to see my face right now," said Thor angrily. He stepped forward, puffing out his chest and clenching his fists. Unfortunately, this only served to show off Thor's newly acquired bust, and the warriors burst into new bouts of laughter.

"You are rather well-endowed, Thor," chuckled Volstagg. "Impressive indeed!"

"And what if I had asked you fools to be part of my wedding party?" Thor asked, his voice straining with his restrained rage. "Would you be laughing then?"

Hogan and Volstagg quieted a little, but Fandral only laughed harder. "Of course," he said merrily.

"I am doing this for the good of Asgard," Thor growled, growing angrier by the minute. Loki was thoroughly enjoying himself. He watched the squabbling friends with glee. Heimdall however, stood stoic as ever throughout the proceedings.

"But of course!" cried Fandral. "Saving Asgard with your skirts blowing in the wind!" The warriors laughed again. Thor's shoulders heaved with anger and Loki thought it past time for them to be departing. He thought it odd that Sif had not come to see them off, but thought no more of it. He was through dealing with her today.

"As fun as this is," Loki drawled, "we do have a mission. Heimdall, may we pass?"

The solemn man turned his piercing golden gaze on the pair of them. "Certainly, my princes. And remember to have care in your manner of returning, for I must continue to keep my duty to Asgard. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, I will have no choice but to leave you in Jotunheim."

"We understand," Loki said quickly before Thor could say anything ridiculous about the glory of battle or some such nonsense. Heimdall nodded and they stepped into the Bifrost.

"Wait!" Loki frowned as an annoyingly familiar voice shouted at them from the bridge leading to the Bifrost. He and Thor turned around to see Sif, golden hair flying, sprinting down the bridge towards them. But what was most shocking was the pale green gown she was wearing to match Loki's. The Warriors Three simultaneously dropped their mouths open.

Over the years they had gotten used to Sif and her crusade to prove that women made just as fierce warriors on the field of battle as men. She ate with the men, drank with the men, swore like the men, and she _never_ wore dresses. For once, even Fandral was speechless.

Thor stepped forward to greet her. "Lady Sif, what are you doing here? And why are you dressed as such?" Loki rolled his eyes. Wasn't it obvious?

"I've come to join your wedding party, Thor. Surely you would benefit by having my sword at your side?" She eyed Loki distrustfully. Thor laughed.

"Of course," he said, sounding much happier than he had only moments ago. Possibly this was because Sif had yet to laugh at Thor's attire. At this Loki stepped forward.

"I don't think—"

He was cut off by Heimdall suddenly speaking. "I am sorry, Lady Sif, but the princes must make this journey alone. I have seen it."

Sif bristled. "With all due respect, Heimdall, surely my presence would do no harm?"

Heimdall shook his head. "You are known as a fierce warrior throughout the Nine Realms, Lady Sif. Your presence would seem suspicious to the Jotun king." Loki smiled as Sif fought with being outraged and flattered at the same time. Heimdall was far too observant most of the time for Loki, which made it difficult for him to play his tricks, but there were times when his famed "sight" was useful.

"But," Sif started to protest again, but Thor shook his head.

"I am sorry, Sif. Heimdall has spoken. This is one journey you cannot accompany on," Thor said gently. "But I will not forget your willingness to help." Loki rolled his eyes as Sif ate up Thor's words. For such an out spoken feminist, Sif certainly wasn't immune to Thor's charms.

"Thor, we _must_ go _now_," Loki said, glaring at Sif.

"Farewell, my friends," Thor said gallantly. He raised a fist, apparently forgetting how ridiculous he looked in his dress and veil. Then Heimdall powered up the Bifrost and Loki and Thor disappeared, their last sight being Sif smacking Fandral upside the head for ogling her dress.

Their landing in Jotunheim was hard, but somehow they both managed to keep their feet. Immediately they caught sight of a group of Frost Giants marching their way. Loki turned to Thor quickly and adjusted his veil. "Whatever happens, you must remain silent," he warned. "I can alter my voice and face so Thrym won't recognize me, but there is little I can do to yours. So for god sakes, if you have to speak, _please_ try to remember you are supposed to be a woman."

Thor didn't answer, he merely nodded. Seconds later they were surrounded by a group of leering Frost Giants, the largest of whom spoke to them. "Welcome to Jotunheim, ladies," he said, his voice sounding like rocks grating against metal. Neither Thor nor Loki answered. They held their heads high and looked at the giants disdainfully as they were directed towards the city.

Once they reached the city limits, the giants summoned a large carriage pulled by an ugly six-legged beast to take them to the palace, where King Thrym eagerly awaited them. Loki kept his face black as they walked and thanked the stars that Thor was wearing a veil. Thor often wore his emotions plain on his face, and Loki had no doubt he was sneering now.

They were brought straight to the throne room, as Loki had been on his first visit. Thrym sat languidly on his throne, smiling cruelly as the "ladies" were led to his feet. Loki kept his gaze down. Even though he had cast a glamour on his face, there was still the slight chance Thrym could recognize him, and Loki didn't want anything giving them away until the hammer was in their sights.

"Welcome, Lady Freya and maid. Allow me to express my true delight in your presence," announced Thrym, standing. Even Loki had to confess a small flicker of fear as the huge Frost Giant stood, towering over them. Without the hammer they were virtually helpless. Even with Thor's extensive battle skills and Loki's magic, they had a slim chance of escape without Mjollnir. Thrym clapped his monstrous hands, signaling for several lesser ranked giants to come running. "There will be a feast held in your honor, my lady," said Thrym.

Alarm filled Loki. Thor's massive appetite was famous. They would not get through a feast without suspicion if Thor was allowed to eat. Not to mention he would be required to remove his veil, which would be instantly disastrous. There was nothing else to do. Loki had to speak up.

"My lord!" he called suddenly. Thor jumped slightly at the sound of Loki's voice, which has jumped up several octaves. Even Loki cringed.

"Yes, maiden?" Thrym said. Even when he was trying to sound gracious, his voice came out as a sneer.

"If my lord would permit me to say, my lady wishes for you to be wed as soon as possible. Could we not postpone the feast until after the ceremony?" He swallowed, silently urging the king to accept this suggestion. His guess was that Thrym would not be adverse to having his supposed bride become his wife sooner than planned.

Thrym stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I must admit I had not anticipated such eagerness," he said, but a delighted smile stole across his face. "But of course I will adhere to my bride's desire." He turned towards Thor. "Is it your wish that we be wed as soon as possible, Lady Freya?"

Loki held his breath as Thor lifted his veiled head to speak. "It is," he answered in a frankly pathetic falsetto voice, but thankfully Thrym thought nothing of it.

"Very well," he said. "Servants, prepare the wedding hall and fetch the hammer. My lovely bride does not wish to wait!" He smiled down at Thor. It was a gruesome sight. While the giants rushed about following their king's orders, Thrym stepped down in front of Thor. He fingered his veil. "Might I gaze upon my bride's beauty before the ceremony?"

"No!" cried Loki. Thrym looked sharply at him but Loki managed to give him a simpering smile. "It's just, my lady does not wish for you to see her face until you can gaze upon her as Queen of Jotunheim."

Thrym gladly accepted Loki's lie and ceased fingering Thor's veil. Instead, he took Thor's hand and led him to an ornate seat beside his throne. Loki watched, amazed, as Thor quietly allowed Thrym to guide him to the seat. Thrym chuckled as he released Thor's hand. "You have quite the grip, my lady," he said.

Loki wanted to smack himself in the forehead. Couldn't Thor control himself? He put on the simpering smile again. "The women of Asgard are strong, my lord," he said.

"Indeed," said Thrym, eyeing Thor up and down. Loki tried not to gag and did his best not to think what the Frost Giant might be thinking at the moment.

The sudden sound of slamming doors announced the arrival of Mjollnir and Loki watched as Thor flexed his fingers. "Patience, my lady," he murmured. Thor gave a minute nod.

Thrym stood once more and smiled down at his soon-to-be wife. "Let the ceremony begin!" he cried, and signaled for the hammer to be brought to him. Loki tensed. This was it. As was custom for weddings on Asgard, the hammer would be placed between the bride's knees and used to invoke the blessing of Mjollnir on the marriage. Smiling triumphantly, Thrym took the hammer in his hand and gently placed it between Thor's knees.

He had no sooner done so when Thor grabbed the handle of the hammer, ripped off his veil and jumped forward, summoning the power of lightning to him. Thick, incredibly bright strikes of lightning danced all around Thor, killing Thrym before he even had a chance to shout in surprise.

The Frost Giants, seeing their king fall dead, roared in outrage and charged the throne, hell-bent on destroying Thor and his companion. Loki, as soon as Thor revealed himself, had removed his glamor and changed into his armor, which he summoned using magic. Then he pulled his sword from the space between spaces and threw himself into the fray, sticking close behind Thor.

After regaining his trusted weapon and seeing the charging giants, a delighted smile had crept onto Thor's face. The lust for battle and the desire to reclaim some of his wounded male pride had overtaken him and he had immediately set to slaying every giant within reach. The bodies were quickly piling up as Thor easily parried and overcame the giants. Mjollnir was the only true weapon the giants feared, and in the hands of the only one able to summon its full power, it was terrifying.

"We should return," Loki shouted to Thor over the chaos.

"Why?" laughed Thor. "Are you tired so soon brother?" He thrust the hammer above his head, summoned the lightning and sent beams of it shooting out at all the surrounding giants. Loki rolled his eyes as Thor bellowed out a mighty war cry when a great many of them fell dead by his hand.

"Is this not enough retribution?" Loki shouted over the din, gesturing towards the multitude of bodies piling up in the throne room. "You've slain their king, they'll not return to any sort of order any time soon, Thor. We have what we came for, we should return before they summon reinforcements from the city!"

Thor laughed again as he battled four more giants at once. "Ah, very well brother," I suppose you speak the truth. Come, join me and I will fly us to the Bifrost site." He knocked away the last of them easily and Loki quickly made his way to his brother's side. Once there, Loki gave him a cheeky grin.

"I must say brother, never have you looked more lovely on the battlefield." He gestured to Thor's now tattered wedding dress, blowing lightly around his knees. Thor glared at him, but Loki only laughed. Thor's dress was tattered, his veil was missing, and the pillows stuffed down his front were lopsided and one was leaking feathers. The only thing not looking battered was Freya's necklace, which still shone brightly around Thor's neck. Loki wasn't quite sure how he'd managed that one.

"It was a means to an end, brother. I see you wasted no time in ridding yourself of your female garments," Thor growled.

Loki shrugged. "Why not?" he said.

Thor didn't answer. He began spinning Mjollnir faster and faster at his side, gaining momentum for flight. "Let's go home," he said before grabbing Loki and throwing them into the air. They flew through the frigid air and landed at the Bifrost site with a jarring impact. "Heimdall!" called Thor, and suddenly they were flying up through space until they landed safely inside the Bifrost, where Sif and the Warriors Three were waiting for their return. Loki noticed Sif had changed into her usual armor, however.

"My friends!" cried Thor, storming forward. "Our mission was a perfect success. Though with my brother Loki planning it, I should have known nothing could go wrong."

Loki colored a bit at Thor's praise, but shrugged nonchalantly. "It's what brothers do," he answered truthfully.

Thor beamed at him. "Better words were never spoken my brother," he said. "Come! Let us go tell the All-father of our success! And I must change. I have had enough of women's wear to last me a lifetime."

Loki grinned and ran up beside his brother. He couldn't resist just one more jab at Thor, not when he presented such an easy target. "But Thor, you look so ravishing! Are you sure you don't want to make this a trend among all the great warriors?" Even the Warriors Three laughed at that. Thor growled good-naturedly and shoved Loki aside.

Loki only laughed. It was his job to tease him after all. It's just what brothers do.


End file.
